


Tell me yoo kihyun.Do you love me or hate me?

by Fantaewoontasy



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: M/M, kihyuk, monsta x - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-14
Updated: 2018-10-30
Packaged: 2019-08-02 02:19:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16296407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fantaewoontasy/pseuds/Fantaewoontasy
Summary: ❝ Tell me yoo kihyun.Do you love me or hate me? ❞





	1. Chapter 1

__

 

I finally sat on the chair bedide the window.

we all were tired,stressed and upset.

shownu was stressed about tomorrow concert and wonho was calming hyungwon that was upset with changkyun hit him on his forehead in the concert.

minhyuk was with his **#iDontCareAboutTheWorld** expression as always and was playing with his phone and making weird noises.

jooheon and changkyun went to practice for our schedule and even weren't here.

I was tired and stressed too.my mind was full of questions.

_why weren't we cheerful?_

_why weren't we like the past?_

_what happened to us?_

_I put the phone in_ my hand on my leg and looked at the outside hopeless.

I was under a lot of pressure.

Suddenly I felt a warm hand but didn't handle it and just push it away and stood up fast.

I stared at minhyuk who was looking at me shocked with his hand hovered in the air.

"What do you think you're doing?"I asked and tried not to yell but I did and now!!everyone's attention was on us.

"kih-"

"don't even dare to call me.I asked you what are you doing??"I yelled again.

"yah yoo kihyun!!"wonho didn't stay calm and called me.

"You're not gonna protect him this time!!"I warned him.

I was tired of his interference.

Everytime I would yell at minhyuk he was on his side.

_Wasn't he gonna stop?_

"Leave first."I knew shownu hyung just didn't want us fight.

I turned my head and left there.

I felt better after a while.how much was I selfish?I didn't even care about his feelings but ok!!

I thought my problems are more important than him.

he was my enemy after all.everyone knew.

_he hates me as I do._

He was annoying.his stuff were always in the center of the house and it included this time.

I didn't care about his tshirts on the floor and just rested on my bed and faced the wall.

I just wanted to close my eyes and leave this world but someone entered the room after 30 minutes.

"hyung??hyung!!"jooheon called.

"what?"I sat on my bed.

"I heard you- ok that's not important but why did you leave like that??I heard from shownu hyung manager hyung blamed minhyuk hyung because of your arguement!!"

ok there were many hyung in his sentece but what?why should the manager blame him?

"so what?what should I do?"I asked.I wasn't upset.honestly I was even satisfied!

"hyung?he was blamed because of you!!"jooheon said.

"he was blamed because of being an idiot."I said and slept and closed my eyes.

"Sometimes I really think that you're his..enemy."he said.

_because we are!_

"you even..don't know he can't eat anything because of your arguement.."he hummed and left the room.I stared at the wall.

it all was a lie.he was eating more than anyone in our dorm.

but I remembered his confused eyes while I was yelling at him.

I never saw him like that except once when we cried and he saw us and didn't know anything.

I closed my eyes and fell sleep with my infinite busy mind.

***

I openned my eyes when I felt someone openned the room.

that person slept on his bed without saying anything.I looked at minhyuk slowly.

his wrist was on his eyes.was he crying?

he took a deep breath and that was when I noticed he was asleep.

he wasn't crying.

I stared at him for a while till I fell sleep again.

***

I woke up at night.I felt much better than before.

the room was empty.I went to the kitchen to eat something.I ate a apple juice and came back to the room.

where were the others?

I called hyungwon to ask.

"where are you won?"I asked.

"I'm Practicing."he said.

"why didn't you wake me up?"I asked.

"I thought you might wake up by yourslef.but kneel and thank god you're not alone there:/"he said.

"who's here??"I asked shocked.

"minhyuk hyung stayed.try to be nice to him and better not to call me while I'm here!!bye!"He said and hung up.rude:/

so he stayed here.I stood up.he's practicing.isn't he?

I didn't see him!

I put my phone in the charge and went out but didn't find him again even after searching so much.

where was he?

I don't know what happened but I heard a loud voice and someone gasped.

_**what did you do lee minhyuk?** _

 

                        _    To be continued.._


	2. Chapter 2

I went to the kitchen to see what he did.

I saw him cleaning his mess with his hands.

I thought for a moment.should I let him clean the pieces of the glass with his hands?

I stepped closer.

he stopped cleaning when he noticed me but didn't look up.

I knelt in front of him and reached my hand to one of the pieces but his voice stopped me.

"don't you dare to touch it."he warned and took it himself and dropped them in the trashcan.

but I didn't move and was just still kneeling there.

he washed his bloody hands.I finally stood up and held his hand before he moves more.

"didn't we have a broom?"I asked and looked at him.

"what if we had?"he asked quietly.

"I can't believe the amount of your stupidness!!"I shook my head to the left and right and scratched my hands to catch the first aid kit.

"you can't-"he tried to release his hands but I held them tighter.

"stay still!!"I warned harshly.

I knew..that was too harsh for him to keep quiet.

I used some iodine to disinfect the wounds and then attached the bandage on his hands.

I knew it hurt but he handled patiently like a good boy.

he stared at his hands after I put the first aid kit box in the cabinet.

I left him without saying a single word.

at least I could do this for him since he was blamed because of me.

an hour passed as fast as possible and I heard changkyun was argueing with wonho hyung.

"what happened??"I heard minhyuk asked them.

I stood up to see what's happening myself.

"nothing just hyungwon didn't come back with the van because of him!!"wonho frowned.

"why?"I asked.

"he just had to apologize but he didn't even do that!!he was still mad at you but you made it worse!!"wonho said.

"ok calm down.he's regreting.you see?"minhyuk smiled a bit and put his hand on changkyun's shoulder.

"you have to pick him up then."I said.

"I will but-..ah..ok."he decided not to say anything more to make the situation worse and just left to pick up hyungwon.

"it's ok changkyun-ah.he's just sensitive on hyungwon.you know it better yourself!"minhyuk hummed.

"I know.but why should I always apologize?"changkyun groaned.

minhyuk didn't say anything.I don't know if he was thinking or something else but he didn't continue and just shook his head to avoid any bad situation.

"I ate dinner.I'll sleep first.don't make any noise."minhyuk warned to changkyun and passed by easily and went in the room.

I left changkyun too and went to the room and sat on my bed to put some cream on for my skin.

minhyuk added an alarm for 7:00 am as always and put his phone on the desk beside his bed.

he fell sleep soon.I stopped for a moment to watch him.I thought for a moment..how comfortable he slept..his feet were on his blanket and his hands were beside his head on his pillow.

I smiled a bit but it disappeared when I thought about our situation.

we were still each other enemies.we didn't have talk to each other but I even helped him.

suddenly he moved in his sleep.I knew what was that.it was something like you're falling from a height.

I continued putting my cream on.I put it on the desk above my bed after finished my work and slept on my bed and checked my phone.

nothing important.

I took a deep breath and stared at the ceiling.

I couldn't sleep.I could If I were hyungwon but now I couldn't!!

I thought I can't but I could!

***

"minhyuk hyung?hyung??wake up!!we have to go!!min hyung!!"

Hyungwon was calling minhyuk and no one knew how much it was annoying to hear someone's voice that early.but at least it was too good that he woke up by himself~

"hyung please!!I might think you're dead!!"he said.

"I'm tired."minhyuk hummed but didn't even open his eyes.

"Ok I gave up!"hyungwon left the room madly.

I sat on my bed and scratched my body.

it wasn't too bad to leave him home..was it?

I changed my clothes and left the room.

the Manager never blame wonho when he doesn't come to practice,so there won't be any problem for minhyuk.

"didn't he wake up?"wonho asked.

"no.we'll leave."I said.

"we shouldn't leave him here."changkyun said.

"but we have to."I said coldly.

"do you hate him this much?"jooheon asked.

"more than what you think."I smiled.

"lets go."I heard minhyuk's voice.

I turned my head to see him.he was ready to come with us but..his pale face..never mind!

I didn't care about him and just got on the van.

the others asked about his condition but he just smiled and shook his head.

** "I'm ok."  **

was what he was saying all the time.

I wasn't curious but when he sat next to me I became curious a bit.I could feel the warmth of his body.I knew he was keeping his head up hardly.his eyes were half open and I could see his bright eyes.

I was focusing on him but suddenly he coughed and almost scared me.

"I don't think you can practice with this situation hyung.."hyungwon said.

"he's right.lets just go-"

"I'm ok!!"minhyuk cut shownu.

"he says he's ok.don't ask him anymore."I said.

"hyung!!"jooheon called me.

"what?"I frowned and we stared at each other for a moment till hyungwon broke our staring situation.

"is it a staring game?seems fun.I wanna play too!!"he said excited and stared at wonho.

"you'll lose easily."wonho said and it was enough for hyungwon to explode.

and we needed someone to save him from biting the chair of the van.

"we're there!"the driver said.

we got off and entered the building slowly and went to the practice room.

not me but the others decided to let minhyuk rest on the chair there because of his situation.

changkyun played the music and we started dancing for the 'beautiful' choreography.

as our fans expect us to release an amazing mv we did it!!

"Chae hyungwon!!"jooheon yelled.

"what??"hyungwon yelled back.

"You're shaking!!you ruined the dance!!"jooheon frowned.

"my knees hurt!!"that was weird 'cause hyungwon suddenly yelled with a high pitch.wow..cool chae!

"then why didn't you say before??is it your new excuse??"shownu asked.

"yah!!why do you guys argue??"wonho asked.

I took a deep breath.that wasn't a new thing.

someone always was there to ruin our choreography and then the other members would attack him as harsh as they could but don't worry.it always ends with minhyuk's jokes and we laugh at the end.

I looked at minhyuk to see his reaction but!

he wasn't there!!he disappeared!!

I searched for him but he wasn't in the practice room but the door was open.

I left there quietly to find him.but unfortunately didn't decide to warn him to come back.I knew the manager would blame him but I didn't care about him anyway.

I found him in the hallway.he was taking his hand to the metal bar of the stairs there and kept his head up and took a deep breath and continued walking down the stairs.

I followed him.I was curious.where did he want to go with his bad condition?

I stopped when I saw him stopped.

"why do you follow me?"he asked in a low volume.

"Don't you know?"even if I was shocked I asked back.

he started laughing.I looked at him shocked.why was he laughing?

"I can't believe.I thought you might ignore again."he continued laughing.

"I wanted but I thought how much it would be funny if manager found you before I did."I smirked.

"That wasn't hard to guess.you never were emotional to follow me because of my situation."he laughed and turned his head but he lost his balance and almost fell but before that he took himself to the bar and sat on one of the stairs slowly.

I went closer and tried to check him up and I noticed he REALLY wasn't in a good situation.

I held his hand and helped him to stand up but he pushed my hands away and made his situation worse.

he couldn't even stand on his legs.

I held him before he falls from the stairs.

he stood in my embrace for a short moment.I could feel him shaking.suddenly he fell on his knees and..passed out.

my eyes became wide.

my brain started working faster than usual.

** I forgot about our relationship and everything else when I saw him like that. **

I piggybacked him and ran toward the exit door.

I didn't know how much I ran.I couldn't even control myself.

** _where was I going?_ **

_**** _

_** I didn't care. ** _

_**** _

_** The only thing I could care about was just him. ** _

_**** _

that was the first time he was the most important thing for me.I hired a taxi.

"please ahjussi!!he's dying!!faster fasterrrr!!!"I was yelling at the driver man and he tried to took us to the hospital sooner.

I looked at minhyuk's pale face.I put my fingers under his nose to see if he was breathing.

he was alive!!he was still alive!!

Yeah..of course he was 'cause if he wasn't I would be dead too!

I paid the taxi and piggybacked minhyuk again and ran in the emergency area.

"help!!"I yelled and as I expect some nurses dragged a bed with themselves and put him on the bed and took him to another room.

but I was still there.looking at my shaking hands shocked.I could feel my heart beating as fast as possible.

_** I felt like..I would die if I don't see him.. ** _

__

_** Have you ever felt like there's nothing important than your best friend? ** _

_**** _

_** Oh!have you ever felt like even if the earth doesn't round it's your fault? ** _

what was that feeling?it was a..strange feeling to me..

I don't know it..

_ I hate to accept it. _


	3. Chapter 3

 

I sat beside the door of the room and stared at the floor.

Every second was passing like a year.

I was waiting.I didn't know what to do.

 

_what if he got hurt?_

 

I looked at my phone.

 

**< 4 missed calls from jooheon.2 missed calls from hyungwon.7 missed calls from manager hyung..>**

 

I saw our manager was calling again.

what should I tell him?

What did I do to minhyuk?

I cupped my hands around my head and kept my head down.

I never prayed too much before.even if I had a hard life I didn't pray this much.

But this time was minhyuk!

 

_it was all about minhyuk's life._

 

I didn't know what to do.I didn't know how to answer the manager..

I didn't know how to answer the members..

I noticed hyungwon was calling.

 

_'I should answer..I should..answer..'_

 

"won.."I answered.

"where are you??where is minhyuk hyung??we're all worry about you!!yaaah!!"he yelled childish.

"hospital."I didn't have time to say more.

 

_I couldn't._

 

"why are you like this hyungwon??what happened??yah yah yahhhh.."I heard wonho hyung after a minute.

He was talking to hyungwon..like hyungwon wasn't moving at all..

"where are you now??"jooheon held hyungwon's phone and asked.

" 'han' hospital."I said for the last time and hung up and stared at the door of the room again.

the doctors in dramas would come out fast but why didn't they come out fast in reality?

I waited and waited..

I waited till someone grabbed my collar and pulled me up.

"you finally killed him!!"jooheon yelled.

"what now??you're waiting for him to die?you-"

I held his hands and smirked weakly and pushed his hands away.

"what happened??"I saw hyungwon was shaking.

"I've no idea."I answered.

and in that moment the doctor came out but before he goes anywhere we surrounded him.

"speak!!where is he?"shownu asked dangerously.

"I won't tell you!!give me 500 won first!!"the doctor joked.

haha funny:/

"speak or we'll kill you right here!!"hyungwon frowned.

"no I won't!!"the doctor said.

 

_Idiots._

 

I entered the room while they were still acting weirdly.

he was on a white bed and looking at his serum with a small pout.

"how much can you be an idiot more?"I asked.

"why..are you here?"he looked at me when he noticed me.

"I don't know."I answered while I was shaking my head around.

The only thing that was important was that-

 

_**he was ok..** _

 

ok my stupid heart!he's ok!calm down!

I turned around and left.

I wanted to stay but I told them I want to go to the dorm.

I didn't know if he wouls return home that night or not but I really didn't want to sleep alone in the room.

I rested on my bed and stared at the ceiling.

I was thinking about him.

I didn't even tried to stop myself not to think about him.

it wasn't a crime,was it?

that moment he got the minji's role and wore a girly wig.

all I can say is he was quite beautiful.

I got a girl role too but he was like a real girl!!

That moment in the concert he asked what he hates like cucumber and hyungwon answered kihyun-

I wanted to kill minhyuk but he said that It was wrong.

I had a lot of moment in my head just about us but I stopped thinking when I heard the door opened.

I was shocked when I saw him.

 

_minhyuk?_

 

what's he doing here??should he be in the hospital???

he didn't say anything and slept.

I kept staring at his calm face until hyungwon entered the room after 30 minutes after minhyuk entered.

I looked at him.

"don't fight with him.he's not ok."he said quietly.

he wasn't like those guys to act like children or cheesy but..he was really cute while saying that..

"come here first."I said and spread my arms.

he didn't reject and came closer till I hugged him.ah..he was like a teddy bear.

I wasn't that cheesy to hug the members all the time but sometimes hyungwon was too cute to accept..Of course just sometimes!

I was petting his hair but something happened which I didn't expect at all.

wonho entered the room in that situation.seeing us..

I let hyungwon go and he stood up fast.

"w-what were you-"

"I swear to the chocolate I ate about 10 minutes ago we weren't doing anything!!"hyungwon pouted.

"he's cute."I shook my head and rested on my bed.

"you better take your eyes from him or I won't sit and look anymore."wonho frowned.

"I don't like him as you do hyung.you're cool together:D"

 

**_I hate myself for saying these cheesy things!_ **

 

"good night."they finally left and then I saw they turned off the lights.

"what..happened?"suddenly I heard minhyuk's voice.I looked at him.he was rubbing his eyes like a 2 years old child while he was pouting.

God..

 

_He was cute-_

 

he was even cuter than hyungwon like that!!

"nothing happened.sleep more."I turned my head to face the wall and heard him hummed something and slept again.

I stood up to see if he still has a fever.

his body was still warm.

I went to take a cold thing to put on his forehead.

It lasted a minute to find a cold package.hyungwon was getting sick easily so we always had alot of these things in the freezer.

I put that on minhyuk's forehead and I clearly saw his frown disappeared.

I smiled.

***

"hyung?"

I woke up fast when jooheon called me at first time.

I looked at him sleepy.

"why did you sleep like this?"jooheon asked.

I noticed I was on the floor beside minhyuk's bed.I slept like that last night?

"I've no idea.what happened?"I asked.

"nothing happened.I wanted to check him up."he said.

I put my hand on minhyuk's forehead.fortunately he was better and had his normal temperature.

"he's better."I said.

"I didn't know you'll treat him this good.I thought you hate him."he said.

"I do."I said.

"are u you sure?"he laughed and left quietly.

I looked at minhyuk who was still sleep shocked.

I hate him!!what's with that?he hates me back!!

he never even was worried about me and I..

I was!!I was worried about him like my life related to his life.

 

_I didn't like how I felt..I didn't like this feeling._

 

I didn't like to be anxious about my enemy.

I hate to be like this.

 

_lee minhyuk..I hate you more._

 

I felt this feeling because of you.

you have to take it yourself.I'm not gonna feel anything because of you again!

***

"I'm not going out today.please buy some ice cream if you went out hyung!"changkyun asked hyungwon.

"I'll go with wonho hyung.don't you wanna come hyung?"hyungwon asked me.

"no.I'm gonna help jooheon work on his music."I amswered.

"ok.call me if you needed anything!"hyungwon yelled for the last time and left with wonho.

I looked for minhyuk.I wasn't worried!!I wasn't!!..

OK!!I ADMIT I WAS CURIOUS TO DEATH!!

I saw him listening to our music and practicing.

I stared him maybe for a long time till shownu noticed me.

"Are you worried about him?"he asked.

"no I'm not.I just didn't remember the choreography well.I watched him to remember."

 

_liar._

 

All of them were a lie..just some nonesense came out from my mouth but seemed to satisfied him.

"I promised jooheon to help him but you do please."I hummed.

he just nodded and disappeared.

I saw him still moving his body with 'beautiful' choreography.

he was moving his body softly with the music and looking at himself at the mirror.

the tears were falling from his bod-..

I swear to god that wasn't a sexy thing.at least for a guy!!

but he was trying...everytime I saw him practicing hard and never gave up was cool for me.

maybe it looks insane but it was sexy for me.

everytime I was seeing him like that I just wanted to stand next to him and dance with him.no matter how many hours he wants to dance..I'll stay with him till he finishes trying.

he took a deep breath and put his hand on his head.did he have headache?

"uh..why are you still here?"he asked shocked when he noticed me.

"I wanted to remember the choreography."I answered.

"you have a fish memory.3 second!"he took a bottled water and laughed.

"I agree.but at least I don't forget my lines."I smirked.

"do I do?I never forgot my lines!!"he said.

"I didn't say you did."I stood up.

"sit.I guess you feel dizzy."I pointed to the chair and stood in front of the mirror.

he did what i told him to do.I danced and even did hyungwon's dance part!!that was awesome for me!!

I noticed minhyuk was already sleep.

his hands were locked together on the table in front of him and his head was on his hands.

he was an art in that situation.I sat on the chair in front of him and took a pic of him quietly and then copied his situation and then looked at him.

we were too close.I didn't like him to see me in that distance.as you know everyone has the right distance.

but he was sleep and it didn't care.

his white hair was on his eyes and his lips formed like a kid as always.

my eyes became warm.I wanted to sleep too.

I noticed realized his hair.his hair became silvern already?

I touched his hair slowly but he suddebly openned his eyes.my hand hovered in the air and looked into his eyes shocked.

he was shocked as well!

what's your reaction if you see somebody's touching your hair?

he rolled his eyes between my hand and my eyes.

I could read his mind.

 

_'what the hell is he doing??why did I even sleep?'_

 

but..I didn't care about anything except his eyes..

I really wanted to drown in his eyes but he suddenly stood up.

"I-I'll go in!!"he ran out of the practice room.

I laughed a bit and stood up after him.

he wasn't those types to blush but he did!!

he blushed from our distance and my stare.

I thought for a moment..that was..cute tho..

I wanted to follow him but the manager took my hand.

"yoo kihyun."he called me.

"oh!what happened?"I smiled.

"did something happen last night?everyone act suspicious."he said.

"no!I give you my words nothing happened last night.they're just tired from practicing."I said.I didn't even know where do these words come from!

"yeah seems minhyuk was worse than you all."he shook his head.

"y-yeah he was tired.I gotta go!"I said.lee minhyuk you messed up!!

I left there fast and saw minhyuk going toward home.

"you messed up everything."I said and walked next to him.

"w-what?"he asked.

"the manager found out."I said.

he stopped.he was like a lost puppy in that situation.

"we'll die.."he hummed scared.

ok I freaked him out.

"Kidding.I fixed it."I said proudly.

"you-"he yelled madly.

"scared me idiot!!"he yelled again.

"better to say I freaked you out.don't bother to yell babe you'll get old~"I sang in a annoying tune.

he beat his foot on the ground madly and started to walk with a little frown on his face.

I laughed and followed him.he wasn't too good to walk..maybe I forgot?

I did!I walked like there's not any problem but he fell right in my embrace after a minute.

 

 _that feeling again._.

 

"are you-"I couldn't continue.

I tried to show myself tough but I couldn't.

"I-I'm..I'm fine..I-I-I just..need to sit.."he hummed scared.

I searched for a bench or something and I found one in the park next to us.

I pulled him in my embrace and took one of my hands under his knees and another hand under his shoulders and carried him.

he was shocked as I was!!I didn't know why I did that but I felt it's better that way.he wasn't heavy..maybe I was just too worried not to care about his weight.

I put him on the bench and sat next to him.

"what happened?does your head hurt??"I asked and put my hand on his head.

"n-no..it's ok."he hummed.

"I'm sick of this word.tell me what happened?"I asked.

"I don't know.I just felt..dizzy.."he kept his head down.

 

_You scared me to death lee minhyuk._

**Author's Note:**

> Hey~~  
> I'm grateful that you read my fic♡  
> Hope you like it!  
> Twitter ID:@fantaewoontasy


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